I keep seeing polls and tv talking heads saying how bad us Republicans are doing. Well, of course, we’re not eating as high off the hawg as when we had a real Texan in the White House.

But we can do something about it. In fact, I want to do something because as I learned in typing class, “Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the party.”  Funny how things you learn in school just show up in your head when you need them.

But how exactly? Even Michael Steel should realize we need to recruit more democretins. Like Duh!

But how do we do that without Sarah Palin on the ticket?  Sure, we need to destroy that foreigner, Barack Obama, and say no to everything that liberals like him and Nancy Pelosi stand for, but that’s not enuff. I say that we got to play from our strengths. We’ve got to look to our biggest and best sucesses and use that as our roadmap.

IMHO, there’s nobody damn well bigger and better than Rush Limbaugh, the Big Bopper!  I think of Rush as the Big Bopper ever since I saw him at bopping up and down at the Conservative Union rally where he was dressed all in black and sexier than Kid Rock. Rush even kissed me on the cheek and squeezed my tushie with his cigar-hand. Wow!

I’ve been thinking on how we get dumocrats to think like Rush. And the answer came to me like a pitcher of water at a wet t-shirt contest. If we get folks to do what Rush does, they’ll become Ditto Heads like me and the rest of us real Republicans.

My evil boss, Yo, invented this cocktail recipe to make fun of Rush. Yo called it the
Limbaugh Rush and she thinks it’s funny. But I’m smart enuff to know how to turn the tables, and use against her what she used against Rush, so we can swiftboat them commie liberals until they think right.

How? We just get all kinds of folks to do the “Limbaugh Rush” and they’ll pledge Republican faster than you can say “GOP-Brain.”

Now that P.Bam has put the nation’s racial problems back on the back-burner with Beer Summit I, what else needs beering up?

We think that our President as “leader of all the people” needs to take a shot at stopping the carnage that is the Bill O’Reilly vs Keith Olbermann Mouth-Off.

It is reported that there is a deal between Rupert Murdoch of Fox which owns FoxNews and the top corpies of General Electric which owns MSNBC.  The deal is basically, “your sneaky little pisssant doesn’t teepee my house with legal papers, and my bigass prick won’t leave dog poop in a burning paper bag on your doorstep.”

The deal ain’t never gonna work. No way.

In this agreement O’Reilly’s company must stop suing every executive who is above Olbermann in the pecking order, which is quite a few. Olbermann, in turn, will have to backthefckoff. Yeah, right.

According to the our sources, Keith Olbermann will not be able to call Fox “Fixed News” or “FoxNoise” or other worse stuff that starts with an F sound.  That might happen, for a while. But Keith Got Teeth is also prohibited from referng to Mr. O’Reilly as “Billo The Clown” or “Bill Orally.” Never happen.

Keith won’t even be able to make up new insults like “Bill Ho’Reilly” which will stifle his creativity something fierce.

Keith also won’t be able to make luffa jokes in the midst of faux phonesex calls from Bill to his female producers. Keith might not even be able to name Bill “Worst Person In The World” for more than three consecutive nights.

If all this supposition is true, Keith’ll have to go to a half hour format, which will add another half hour to Rachel Maddow’s show.

Bill will probably have to stop his Ambush Producer from attacking MSNBC personnel while they are using a public urinal, eating with their family, or coming out of motel room with an intern.

I’ll tell you now, this deal is dead before it gets going. Olbermann made his bones, making fun of his competitor. Keith isn’t gonna stop.

Bill will be okay because he is sneakier and more subtle than Keith. Bill might be able to hide his attacks, after all, he’s managed to never say Olbermann’s name on the air. OR’s the only man that could deliver nothing but total spin in a No Spin Zone — and get away with it.

Of course, in comparison to Bill, Keith has all the subtlety of a springbreak rookie peeing from a motel balcony into a pool full of coeds two stories below.

How can a magilla like this ever have a happy ending? Only if P.Bam comes to the rescue with a new bigger, better Beer Summit.  But for this one I think he might need a longer table and more than a bottle each.

The beer summit more than the arrest itself seemed to escalate and radicalize comments from both whites and  blacks.

Some blacks almost always feel like they are picked on primarily because they are black, no matter what the situation. There are white folks who see a black man who stands up to a cop as uppity and deserving of arrest.

I thought race relations had calmed.  Maybe they have, but only on the surface.  One beer deep and old bad attitudes start to leak out through people’s mouths. And they seem to go back to the extreme.

Rabble-rousers like Sean Hannity are wrong that a cop is a hero risking their life every time he goes out on a call. And that Professor Gates should have appreciated the attention and thanked the cop. Blacks aren’t jungle monkeys or niggers, even if they trash talk yo mama.

On the other hand, every time a black man gets questioned or arrested, it’s not because he’s black. It may just because he’s a jerk who doesn’t know any better than insult a cop.

Both men acted stupidly.

They both appear at this point to have the wisdom not to throw more gas on fire.  Too bad full-time stupidlees like Sean Hannity and the trash talking bruthas don’t understand that.