We can have our cake and eat our ice cream, too. I mean people who think right like me, and you others, too.

I figure it this way. I was lying in bed watching some Fair and Balanced News, and thinking about Texas Governor Rick Perry, who is a handsome stud-muffin with real nice hair. Rick is always jawing about how the Lonestar State is fixing to succeed from the Union. And then there was a segment where I watched the heroes of the 9-12 March On Washington and some of them were talking about succession, too. But it was like a threat. It wasn’t really for real.

Now, I don’t wanna start no second Civil War, especially if the good guys would lose again, but I think it would be only fair if the old US of A would go ahead and allow Texas to succeed and start it’s own country.

I see it this way. We can have our cake and eat our ice cream, too. I mean I live here in New York City, but I’m still a Texan, not a New Yorker. And those Bridge and Tunnel people from Connecticut and Jersey (yuck) work in New York and are still guidos, if that’s right word. And I get hit on in bars by people from India and England and New Foundland. And they’re not even Americans, except that Canadians are sort of Americans if you look at a map like on Google.

So you don’t need to be a citizen of the United States to live and work here, so why should we have to? Have to be US citizens, I mean, when we could be like born again and be citizens of the Republic of Texas. Wouldn’t that be like totally sweet?

Anyway, I think it would be a good idea to give all us right-thinking, God-fearing, gun-toting Christians our own country. We could still live or work wherever we worked or lived, but we’d be citizens of the Republic of Texas, and we’d vote and pay taxes there and you could keep your Obama and let him preach socialism to your kids.

Really, I mean it!

Get the Dumocrat point of view here
When Secession Succeeds
Research says, “Texamerica Can Secede!”

Internet advertising just plain honks me off. Especially when I want to read an article or see a video, and instead I get an upfront commercial.

Don’t those idiot advertisers realize that I put them on the Spamvertizers list in my head? And that I’ll never ever buy their product?

Well, the only way I will buy their product is if their advertising is so unmemorable that I forget them like that fat girl I met on Spring Break at the Wet T-Shirt contest, who, now that I think about, I remember all too well.

So now that I think about thinking about it, my memory for painful things like Blobbera and spamvertising does not portend well for the spamvertisers on my list!

(If there must be extraneous, meaningless crap attached to real content, it should be like the photoon of Megan shown here. I would be glad to explain why this is better than spamvertising, but if you don’t already see it, I’d be wasting my time.)

Those ratfriggin’ cokesacking hackers have gone too far! Closing down Twitter is one thing. But what they did to us… I say rendition them to deep, dark hole and make them watch Glen Beck until their eyes bleed!

I know I’ve got to calm down, but it’s hard to do.  Because they ruined us.

I would not be surprised if Totally Beaugus is now known as the number one intergalactic site for male enhancement, although that isn’t anything like what we do. Those scum-sucking spammers somehow got our SMPT email thingie and went nuts with spam, spam and more spam.

From vavious names @ our email address approximately 1,768,798 “member engorgement” emails have gone out to people on our email list and to others all the way to out to ISPs on planets with rings.

What was the bummeriest was when my girlfriend, who got the spam-mail from our address wondered why I didn’t take advantage of our own product.  That really hurt!

We’d been receiving about 200 bounce backs per hour, which is like a Chinese Water Torture for folks looking for Google Alerts that one of our blogs had been picked up.

Eventually, we called our webhost techies and we got SPFed which is something like sun block for email. Then we dumped our garbage email address and stopped the forwards.  And we now should be okay.

Except for my Sheila who still doesn’t seem to understand.  What can I tell her except I’m half Irish? And she knows which half.

I’m freakin’ ruined.

I was tweeting around when I saw this #thing about “Which Harry Potter character are you?”  As I am a total Hogwarts-head, I took the quiz.

At minimum, I expected my sterling character would put me in Gryffindor house with Harry and Ron. Nope.

I expected that my brilliance and ability to do pi to the 7th decimal point would make me Hermmoine.  Nope, again.

My bright redhair, obvious bravery and ability to attract cute guys would make me Ginny. Nope, again, again.

My favorite book charcters are actually the wild Weasley twins, and I am so inventive, iconoclastic, and clever I thought for sure I’d join Fred and George as a third girl twin. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope!

The test says I’m Voldemort. I don’t want to be Voldemort. I’d rather be a blast-ended skrewt. I am not even young Tom Riddle, who was kinda cool and only about as evil as the averagely degenerate high school linebacker. No, I am Voldemorte. He who will not be named. And they name me! I am a Slytherin. I am Malfoy’s idol.  I am obsessed with my big snake. Ahhhhh!

This is wrong. Down deep I am a nice person. I think the test is wrong, and is psychologically damaging, and I intend to protest by Avada Kedavraing all the people who who had anything to do with the stupid questionaire.

Maybe doing that will at least reclassify me as Bellatrix.