I keep seeing polls and tv talking heads saying how bad us Republicans are doing. Well, of course, we’re not eating as high off the hawg as when we had a real Texan in the White House.

But we can do something about it. In fact, I want to do something because as I learned in typing class, “Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the party.”  Funny how things you learn in school just show up in your head when you need them.

But how exactly? Even Michael Steel should realize we need to recruit more democretins. Like Duh!

But how do we do that without Sarah Palin on the ticket?  Sure, we need to destroy that foreigner, Barack Obama, and say no to everything that liberals like him and Nancy Pelosi stand for, but that’s not enuff. I say that we got to play from our strengths. We’ve got to look to our biggest and best sucesses and use that as our roadmap.

IMHO, there’s nobody damn well bigger and better than Rush Limbaugh, the Big Bopper!  I think of Rush as the Big Bopper ever since I saw him at bopping up and down at the Conservative Union rally where he was dressed all in black and sexier than Kid Rock. Rush even kissed me on the cheek and squeezed my tushie with his cigar-hand. Wow!

I’ve been thinking on how we get dumocrats to think like Rush. And the answer came to me like a pitcher of water at a wet t-shirt contest. If we get folks to do what Rush does, they’ll become Ditto Heads like me and the rest of us real Republicans.

My evil boss, Yo, invented this cocktail recipe to make fun of Rush. Yo called it the
Limbaugh Rush and she thinks it’s funny. But I’m smart enuff to know how to turn the tables, and use against her what she used against Rush, so we can swiftboat them commie liberals until they think right.

How? We just get all kinds of folks to do the “Limbaugh Rush” and they’ll pledge Republican faster than you can say “GOP-Brain.”

I’ve got a friend… Stop smirking. That’s not the joke here.

My friend is one of those people who would rather score points in a conversation rather than win the argument and actually get something done.

Conversations with him are like fighting Mohammed Ali. He is always on the verbal move, sticking and jabbing. Moving like a butterfly. Stinging like a sweat bee.

He had a fabulous job at one time, but he spent all his time there talking about his revolutionary ideas, fighting with bosses about them, and in the after-work bull sessions hammering his points home with co-drinking, co-dependant co-workers.

Of course, he doesn’t have that job anymore. But that’s okay. He can go for an hour straight at the mention of the job, telling his current conversational backboards why he was right. And how even after he got canned, he got the best of them verbally.

Why did this pop into my head? Because I”ve been listening  to Republican leaders like John The Boner and Eric Can’t, and the FixedNews talking heads. These GOP-brains are now making big noises about healthcare. Jabbing this and jabbing that. Scoring points against the Dems, their spending, and their healthcare plans.

These are the same tough muthas that were slamming P.Bam over his “soft” comments on Iran. This was before the Iranian election and the demonstrations and the splits in the Iranian regime which have validated the soft-spoken US policy.

Why do Republicans seem to want to score loud points rather than quietly win? Why would they want America to make big loud noises about supporting “democracy” rather than doing what was best for the Iranian democracy, which was of course, to shuthefckup, and not give the Ayatollahs a chance to claim the violence was a plot of the “Great Satan”.

In that round, the GOP-brains scored the points on Obama, but America and democracy won.

Now it’s Healthcare. Big noises with big nos. Are they scoring points? You bet. P.Bam’s numbers are down. The popularity of a new healthcare bill (whatever the hell it is going to be) is down.

The GOP-brains are getting the best of the argument. But they are doing nothing to help America get a better healthcare system.

But you have to admit, they are scoring points. Go Team!