Numerous articles saying how unhappy women are. And most don’t even know me.

Rumor has it that Sarah Palin was really POed in China that they wouldn’t let her shoot a giant Panda. Not even waterboard one!

Monster acorns are dropping like mad in CN. Sounds like Bigfoot chasing moose thru woods. On blacktop, it sounds like grenades.

Don’t u get bored when friends wantto talk about UNinteresting stuff like THEM, when you could be talking interesting stuff like about YOU

For my friends celebrating Bisexuality Day, I have a song, “Get Bi With A Little Help From Your Friends”

It’s 6am. Do you know where your brain is?

Can you wake up with jet-lag if you dreamed in the wrong direction? Sure feels like it.

Studies have shown that poor sleep = susceptibility to colds. Let’s all go back to bed.

I’m convinced the microwave is a plot to deflavor the flavor molecules in coffee. It never tastes right after nuking.

I wish my morning coffee worked like bbq firestarter and my brain would go “Whoosh” Instead it works like Congress & it isn’t working yet

Just took my home coffee cup outta WASHER. Made me wonder about cleaness of my OFFICE COFFEE CUP, which has never experienced a real washer.

TweetingOff. Going to library to get my “more than 140″ fix

Tweet Dreams

Say Goodnight, Gracie.

PAINFUL INTERCOURSE
Everyone’s favorite focus group members, Lester & Charlie, open a dialogue about a subject that no one seems to talk about – dyspareunia.

We upscale home-based executives whose office is our computer chair appear to have a new uniform. Business Jammies for the ladies and Executive Skivies for the gentlemen.

We like these casual outfits because they are cool and comfortable, and they look okay, even on Skype. We roll out of the rack in the morning and we’re already dressed for work, assuming we don’t have to take time to kick a new acquaintance out of bed so we can read our email in peace.

So what could be the problem with such efficiency? The problem occurs that when the FedEx guy rings the doorbell at 8:30. We’ve got to rush to find some cargo pants and a t-shirt to throw on so we don’t endure an embarrassed panic because we look like college students, hookers, or worse yet jobless jabonies who just jumped out of bed, and are such losers we do not even own a pair of pants.

The Sensei solution is a new dresscode. But not for us. This new exec dresscode is for all those old behind-the-times people who schlep out to work in previous-century type offices. Their new dresscode is to dress just like we do.

I would like to christen this the Executive Skivies dresscode. It should include boxers for the guys as oppossed to something that a pudged out Euroslob wears while vacationing on Miami Beach. Topped by T-shirt or hoodie. A ballcap worn backwards is optional, but only if you are under 30 or a brutha.

The Ladies dresscode is Business Jammies. BizJams should not be shorter than teddy length, or of a material that distracts from the powerpoint when standing in front of the exterior conference room window. Except maybe on a dress-down Friday when anything goes but crotchless panties, of which I have none, I want you to know. A robe is optional, but recommended for business women who always intend to go on a diet and exercise regimen, but haven’t quite got there, yet.

I feel that this manditory business dresscode will help the world economy. It will not only help improve overall worker attitudes, it will increase productivity, create new jobs in the garment industry, and will be a boon to lawyers handling sexual harrassment cases.

Then when the meter man suddenly knocks on my door, even if I’m only wearing an old sweatshirt, I will feel as sartorialy splediferous as Nancy Pelosi, but without the over-sprayed hair.