Totally Beaugus

Tag: recession

Lifestyles of The Lesters & Charlies

by Lester And Charlie on Oct.19, 2009, under Satire

Do it at Home, America!
Creative tips on maintaining your luxury lifestyle in the face of record unemployment.

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Days of Whine and Tulips

by Patton Lee Beaugus on Jul.07, 2009, under Commentary

Days of Whine and Tulips
A recession that gets personal can easily send a person into a personal depression.  And I should know.
I know because my only chance for a paying gig this year if somebody makes me the poster boy for the Recession No Stars of 09.  I think the poster people could use the photo on my brand new foodstamps EBT card, although I do look a little like I’m about to go postal.  Luckily, that crazed sparkle in my left eye happens to be a good look for me.
It is such a good picture that it gets me Senior Citizen discounts even though I’m more than a Presidential term away from 65.  I think nice lady who sells me train tickets feels sorry for a not-quite old-dude who uses his food stamp card to ask for a discount he doesn’t deserve.  At least, I hope so, because if I really look over 65, that’s even more depressing.
Please don’t start crying for me. Not yet, anyway.  I’d like to build this whine into a more and more pathetic picture. I think it would be better if you slow-build up to feeling really, really sorry for me. My goal, now that a job is out of the question, is make enough people at the same time sorry enough to shed enough tears to raise the ocean levels more than global warming. I mean, would that be poster-boy worthy, or what?
Here’s my immediate problem.  It’s an extremely pretty day.  Having lost, and having almost nothing left to lose, I don’t know whether to stop and smell the tulips, or not.  If I do stop and whiff, and take this opportunity to enjoy a moment of my life of forced leisure, is that like giving up?
Is embracing an empty moment of joy… is that like not be trying hard enough?  Is that like putting the exclamation point on Loser! with a capital L?  I guess I think it is.  And ain’t that a bummer!
Like many, I’ve been cursed by a mix of Christian work ethic (which I never signed up for) and my high school coach’s work ethic which was “No pain, no gain!”
Seems I’ve got the pain.  Gain, where art thou?
A recession that gets personal can easily send a person into a personal depression.  And I should know.
I know because my only chance for a paying gig this year if somebody makes me the poster boy for the Recession No Stars of 09.  I think the poster people could use the photo on my brand new foodstamps EBT card, although I do look a little like I’m about to go postal.  Luckily, that crazed sparkle in my left eye happens to be a good look for me.
It is such a good picture that it gets me Senior Citizen discounts even though I’m more than a Presidential term away from 65.  I think nice lady who sells me train tickets feels sorry for a not-quite old-dude who uses his food stamp card to ask for a discount he doesn’t deserve.  At least, I hope so, because if I really look over 65, that’s even more depressing.
Please don’t start crying for me. Not yet, anyway.  I’d like to build this whine into a more and more pathetic picture. I think it would be better if you slow-build up to feeling really, really sorry for me. My goal, now that a job is out of the question, is make enough people at the same time sorry enough to shed enough tears to raise the ocean levels more than global warming. I mean, would that be poster-boy worthy, or what?
Here’s my immediate problem.  It’s an extremely pretty day.  Having lost, and having almost nothing left to lose, I don’t know whether to stop and smell the tulips, or not.  If I do stop and whiff, and take this opportunity to enjoy a moment of my life of forced leisure, is that like giving up?
Is embracing an empty moment of joy… is that like not be trying hard enough?  Is that like putting the exclamation point on Loser! with a capital L?  I guess I think it is.  And ain’t that a bummer!
Like many, I’ve been cursed by a mix of Christian work ethic (which I never signed up for) and my high school coach’s work ethic which was “No pain, no gain!”
Seems I’ve got the pain.  Gain, where art thou?
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What’s Next is needed now

by Sensei Yo on Jun.24, 2009, under Commentary

Even radio talk show hosts and the bar-buddy-challenged who call-in to them, they understand that we are living in uncertain times.

Democrats seem to believe more and more programs and more and more money injected quickly will save the world economy. Republicans seem to believe that these same acts will doom all of America’s great-grandchildren who aren’t aborted to a crushing debt in a socialist Spanish-speaking hell full of illegal aliens, lawyers and drug addicts.

Are they both right?  Will what will work in the short term maim us in the long term?  It’s uncertain.

And that’s the problem.  Uncertainty.  And about that I’m certain.

Uncertainty carries its own penalty.  That penalty is paralysis by analysis.  All the analysts are trying to figure out what’s next rather than how to take advantage of what’s next.

We need what’s next now. We need to hurry up the future.  Make the big decisions now.  Pass Health Care. Restart full relations with Cuba.  Make Sarah Palin the 2012 nominee of the Republican Party.  Choose the next American idol as the next Supreme Court Justice.  And we need to do all that asap.  Yesterday, if not sooner.  Not that these are good decisions.  Actually, that’s not as important as making decisions.

From Wall Street to Omaha, we have the kind of entrepenurial business people who know how to bend the rules to expand the economy by increasing the “multiplier effect” of putting money in and out of their pockets… which will trickle down to you and me.   But these Financial Geniuses are currently stymied because no one can move forward and bend the rules when you don’t what the rules are going to be.  Or who will look how far the other way when it comes to enforcement. So our economy is on a slow hold.  A  slowing of the bad, waiting to start into the good.

We need our economic leaders to do their thing and grow the economy.  The next Gates, the next Jobs, the next Madoff are just waiting to see what the field is going to look like before they buy, sell, leverage, or scam.

It’s decision time, boys and girls.  And in some times, like these times, the best decision is to make an immediate decision.

The world needs a new stability — a new post recession status quo ante.  And we need it now, before the recession has even ended.

So everybody ante up.

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