It’s like all set, almost. I read up on it on the internets. The Texas Constitution and the Oklahoma Congress say we can secede. (BTW: I was spelling suceed/sucede/succede wrong b4 because I got it mixed up with spelling success, and if we are going to form our own country, we need to spell thangs right.)

In Article 1- Section 2 of that great historical document, the Texas Constitution, it states, “Texans have at all times the inalienable right to alter, reform or abolish their government in such manner as they may think expedient.” That means it’s okay for Texans to give Washington the finger and do our own thing like those boys in the Alamo.

Then back in May there was the HCR 1028, the Oklahoma’s State’s Rights bill which passed both Houses of their itty bitty Congress. It was confusing because it was written by Okies, but it was “A Joint Resolution claiming sovereignty under the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States over certain powers; serving notice to the federal government to cease and desist certain mandates; and directing distribution.” What it means in plain Texan is “the Yankee Government better not try to treat Okies like folks from New Jersey, or we can take out ball and go home.” That’s what I think it means, anyway.

Put together, they mean Texas and Oklahoma can form our own country with our own flag and new constitution without an age limitation on the President or Vice President so I can run for Vice President with Sarah Palin as my running mate.

So I am hereby declaring my candidacy for Vice President of God’s Republic of Texamerica (or whatever name we decide on).

I know I’m not as experienced as Sarah, but I can see Mexico from my Uncle Snake’s front porch, and I know NAFTA from NASCAR, and I shoot straighter than Dick Cheney, who was never really a straight shooter. I’m for a small Lazy Fair government that does nothing, and I’m both lazy and fair. And I know from that Spring Break in Padre that I can excite a crowd of Good Old Boys even better than Sarah.

And anytime Rush Limbaugh wants me on his show, I’ll go.

Really, I mean it.

The Secession Chronicals
The Dumocrats Don’t Want Us Neither
Remember The Alamode: Noni’s Battle Cry That Sparked A Revolution
What We Need To Make A Great Country With No Liberals
Sing Out For Sucession

Former Alaska Governess Sarah Palin goes back to her roots.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.